Shock
I love to write.
I can help the world in a way that few can. Do you know that Your brain is active when you write? this is what happens to your brain when you write:
You develop organizational skills — from crafting and sequencing your thoughts and ideas
You boost your reasoning and problem-solving skills
You integrate a wide range of vocabulary words and grow your word bank
But I am now resting my feet from standing for hours and listening to Young Bret while I'm writing this blog.
Did you know that listening to music changes the structure of your brain in ways that promote healthy emotional development? Your brain is made up of many different regions that work together. The part of your brain that controls thoughts processes information from your eyes, ears, tongue, and skin. It also uses this information to make decisions and move muscles.
That being said, I decided to share the reason for the topic "SHOCK" and what shocked me in these past 2 days.
I had the opportunity to go to the doctor and share with him my wanting to remove my port because I believe that my body is ready. I was so happy and convinced that everything with my swellingness would be resolved because I have been out of the hospital for a few years. So there I was sitting with a smile on my face. Once I expressed my thoughts and evidence of my understanding and made up decision; he said a word that only those that have heard it being told to them can understand. "Mitzy...
your condition has no cure, your situation is terminal, and removing your port will place you on a death threat. You have no vein access and if anything would happen to you we would not be able to help you. Your arms will never be able to be like they were and this is it.
There was a pause and a deep and stern look between the doctor and me for a few seconds, I could see in his eyes that he felt sorry. I swallowed and took a deep breath and said "well it's always a pleasure to see you" then I asked him. "Will I ever get better, can I heal?" He said "no". I said "um wow this is a great visit" and I smiled. I said "what if I would still want to remove it? He said, "let's wait 6 months and you can have another visit and we can schedule the surgery and if that is still your wish I will do it".
I left with a smile, but I needed to walk and it was a nice day. I decided to take pictures that you see here while I was walking.
I said Mitzy "what is the positive in this?" and I had so many emotions that I said, "Mitzy get yourself something to eat because thinking is much clear with a full stomach". So I went to a breakfast place and had a healthy breakfast and just focused on eating and enjoying the food and coffee and water.
While walking I realized that I needed someone that was a sounding board to listen to me. But I am very cautious about who I speak to especially when I'm in a delicate state. So I called someone very special to me and that has known me for over 10 years. When we spoke I cried, I expressed all of my feelings, and at the end of the conversation, everything made sense and I said: "you know what? I just figured out what my purpose in life was". My purpose is to help those that go through difficult situations in life and can't see the light at the end of their tunnel. I have been blessed with the best sense of humor even in times when others might be submerged in sorrow, I'm always smiling and finding the positive side of everything.
I was laughing with a face full of tears and I said thank you. Thank you for being a person who even though we don't speak often I can always count on you.
This situation made me a better person, why? because I can now connect to people that are hurting. I love for situations like this to happen because I can connect to a community that many don't understand. Does this stop me from achieving my dreams and my work and does this stop me from being the best motivational speaker, a great manager, a great therapist, a great writer and so many other things that I have to offer to the world? NO
I will remove my port in due time and I will live my life every day with a smile on my face and I will help all that I can along the way. I want people to understand that everything is a decision. We decide what we do with our state of mind. I decide to live in a positive state and to treat my body like a temple, a plant. I am pleased to smile and be happy because I have made the best decision and that is my peace of mind. I am at peace and I have learned once again to appreciate my arms and love them just as they are. Because I am still the same person just with a different touch of paint (smiling).
When life gives us gifts that place us in a state of shock. Be very careful who you speak to. If a person is negative that can be detrimental to the situation. Let's look at the bright side of everything, let's smile even when we are alone and primarily let's learn to love ourselves. Only by loving ourselves will we be able to love others and give them the best of us,
We can't give what we don't have.
If we are broken or hurting that is what is going to come out of our mouths, so lets not be judgemental.
Every time you open your eyes your given an opirtunity to change into the best YOU!
M.Coreano
November 5, 2022
