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Tell me what you think...

What has happened to humanity? What about our environment or maybe social media has turned us so cold, distant, and fakes? We do things because there is an alternative motive a majority of the time.

Who knows maybe it's always been this way and I see life and things in a different light.

The reality is that many people have to move things around before taking a picture on social media and they have no idea the amount of stress that all of this causes on our brains. Using excessive social media affects our relationships and connectivity with others and activates the brain's reward center by releasing dopamine, a "feel-good chemical" linked to pleasurable activities such as sex, food, and social interaction. The platforms are designed to be addictive and are associated with anxiety, depression, and even physical ailments.

This is one of the reasons why we live in a world where when we come home we stress when we have worked 80 hours and we have not had the time to wash our clothes, or we interrupt people when they are talking because our brains are so accustomed to swiping up so when we hear someone that is talking about something that might not trike our interest it becomes difficult to pay close undivided attention to others.

We hurt others with our actions, we hurt our friends because we live under the expectancy of everything that social media says we forget that we all come with different lives and many of us come with trauma that might not be in accord with everything that we see or hear. We forget to put ourselves in other people's shoes and we have become self-centered.

Where do you see someone combing a knot from your hair and posting it? or using the bathroom when we have a cramp? Or throwing up when we are sick. Or maybe a mess or dirty dishes. We live under the expectancy of what we see others do and we have forgotten the small beautiful things in life like looking up to the sky or looking out the window when a car is driving and observing the beautiful changes on a tree or just a rainbow after a few hours of rain.

I choose to live a life of clarity and truth. If there is something that I need to relay to someone I will try my best to be courteous or sensitive to their feelings but I will say what I have to say.

In 24 hours we have 86,400 seconds. None of these seconds will come back and they will never be lived again. So let's think about what are we doing with our time. Are we truly enjoying life? Or are we living the life of someone else? I have a few great friends. Today I was talking to a very wise friend who told me " It's funny the things that make us happy" And that same person said "I honestly don't know how you get up from bed every day dealing with all the information and situations you go thru and your level of forgiveness and strength to keep pushing amazes me"

But all I can say is that at my age, I have chosen to continue going and live those 86,400 minutes enjoying myself and quieting (bubbles) which is the name that I give my thoughts and my subconscious when it gets rowdy and I have to quiet her down with breathing, praying and meditating, or stretching techniques or other relaxation coping skills.

The truth is that The subconscious brain is a creature of habit.

When we are stuck in repetitive toxic cycles – whether it be in a toxic relationship or circumstances – most of us don’t consciously want to be there. We are frustrated with ourselves for continuing to get ourselves into rotten situations and feel helpless to change.

But here’s the thing. Our subconscious brain does not want change.

Our subconscious brain craves routine. You’ve given it instructions, and it feels very awkward and even dangerous to deviate. This is why you will hear me say "Bubbles stop" when a negative thought comes to my mind.

So, if you were raised in poverty, your subconscious brain is connected to financial insecurity. Even though your conscious brain would love to be financially stable, your subconscious brain wants things to stay the same.

If you suffered a physical accident or illness that left you incapacitated, for a time you had no choice but to turn all your attention to your pain, your injury, and your illness. Once you are recovered, your brain remains connected to the pain, and fear of future pain. Until you provide the subconscious with new instructions, your brain will remain focused on the trauma.

If you were abused as a child or by a spouse, your subconscious brain made a connection with abusive personalities. Your subconscious seeks out abusers, and when one is identified, your internal systems are triggered to form a relationship.

It isn’t some sort of dark magic that brings you back to toxic people and circumstances over and over. It’s neuroscience.

Cause and effect.

Newton’s Third Law of Motion states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. The human life is a life in motion. Our brains never sleep. While the rest of our body is sleeping, the brain is busy creating connections. For every event we experience (action), our brain bounces it around inside our head until it finds a cause. Once a cause is identified, it makes a connection (reaction).

This is why it is important to reach that 5th level of sleep so your brain and you can get the needed rest.

The subconscious brain demands answers. It needs to make sense of things. It wants to identify a cause. To function, it needs to lay blame. This is an important survival adaptation that helps us sense danger and organize our lives. The trouble is, that things don’t always make sense.

Blaming itself is the default.

When the subconscious brain can’t find a cause, it settles blame on the default. Itself. When left without a clear cause, the subconscious brain blames itself. 

This means, for example, that a child whose parents get divorced automatically blames themselves if their parents don’t intentionally explain that it isn’t their fault.

Similarly, someone who is hit by a drunk driver blames themselves, even though they were obeying all traffic laws, and an assault survivor blames themselves for being attacked.

The importance of naming our traumas and feelings.

We have, as a species, developed a nasty habit of pretending everything’s fine. We are uncomfortable with big feelings, especially big feelings that we’ve labeled “negative,” such as sadness, grief, fear, and anger. We pride ourselves on being “level-headed” “cool under pressure” and “stoic.” And we sit in judgment of ourselves and others when we don’t just “get over it,” or are “overcome by sadness,” grief-stricken,” or “high maintenance.”

The truth is – ironically – that if we’d only allow space for our big feelings as they arise, they would come up and out. They would be released, and our brains would not form a toxic connection.

Name versus blame.

Naming a feeling or circumstance also helps attribute cause and effect. Since our subconscious requires that we identify a cause, when we name it with our conscious mind, we can assign appropriate accountability. You can explain to your brain that your parents got a divorce because they were unable to work out their relationship problems. You were just a kid. You had no control over your parents’ relationship.

When we allow our subconscious brain to rely on its default, we blame ourselves. Blame becomes shame. And shame is highly toxic to ourselves and others.

However, when we consciously name our feelings (as I did, by the name of bubbles) and circumstances, an uncluttered subconscious brain listens because you are talking to it with a name and authority. I have a friend of mine whose subconscious name is "Karen" and she will tell me "Mitzy Karen today is totally out of control I had to put her in her place. You might think it's funny but this is very true. Did you know that when you say something, let it be a joke or something real your brain cannot identify the difference and takes the information as if it was real?

What is an uncluttered subconscious?

An uncluttered subconscious brain is free from toxic connections. This takes time and consistency to achieve. The simplest way to achieve this is to start naming traumas and feelings.

The reality, of course, is that parents and caregivers can’t avoid passing on shame to the next generation. Until the adults of the world break the cycle of generational blame and shame our children will inevitably learn to carry that shame within themselves as well. It’s an amazing goal to shoot for, but it does not solve the immediate problem.

Fortunately, we are beginning to learn ways to turn off our shame and create healthier connections in our brains.

As you can see from this fascinating piece of information living a life full of fakeness affects our brains. So my suggestion is, let's be honest with the people that we love and care about. But most importantly be honest with yourself. The first person who needs to feel peace, love, hate, pity, or whatever feeling you feel comfortable living with is you. You need to find yourself and know what is it that you want to do in your life. Once you make that choice then and only then; I believe that life, God, and this earth will put the right people in your life and you are the only captain of your ship who has the power to choose what to do with all of these beautiful 86,400 seconds of your day. Remember our traumas are not fixed from one minute to the next. It takes consistency and help as well as a good community and a good choice of friends for you to have the coping skills and strategies to live day by day as happy as you can knowing that the second that just passed will never be relived again.

! I feel pain!
What I choose to do with the pain I feel is my decision!
I feel many emotions and there are times that I take some quiet times just to let the tears roll down my cheeks and thats ok.
There are other times that my heart feels heavy and my body feels tired and alone and that is also ok; because what I do with my time after this emotions are given its rightful space is peace and tranquility because we are all human and truth be said we are all taking life one second at a time as best we can!

M.Coreano 4/18/2024


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1 Comment

En el tiempo que vivimos la vida nos pone muchos obstáculos, barreras y personas que nos impiden seguir el camino que nos aria real mente un bien a nuestras vidas, quizás circunstancias que nosotros mismos creamos por estos traumas que traemos en nuestra mente, gracias a personas como tú que entienden este problema las personas pueden ver desde otra perspectiva su vida y quizás tomar caminos diferentes para llegar a esa felicidad que todos deseamos

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