The Soundtrack of My Solitude

Some People Had People. I Had Music and Movies.

The Soundtrack of My Solitude

There is someone who often asks me, "Mitzy, how are you doing?"

And many times, I do not respond. Not because I am being rude, but simply because I do not know what to say.

If there is one thing I love about this blog, it is that this is my safe space, a place where I can pour my heart out without fear of judgment.

I am different, a soul of many layers. I see everything, I understand everything, and I grasp things that many believe I do not. But I choose peace, even when that peace comes with a little heartache.

It has been five months of absolute solitude. And although there were people around me before this time, solitude was, and has always been, my companion.

Within that solitude, I can say that music has been my refuge.

In music, I find happiness. I smile, I cry, and sometimes I become a child all over again. I even surprise myself with how many songs I know!

I believe I may be one of the few people who can sit in a car and listen to the same song over and over again without getting tired of it. I can listen to music all day and never feel the need to turn it off.

Today, it has been country and '90s music.

To me, music has saved me many times.

There is a certain brokenness that comes when you try to reach out to your loved ones and receive no response. It is during those moments that music becomes my healing medicine. Those are also the moments when I understand, on a deeply personal level, how meaningful and functional music therapy can be.

Music brings me back to beautiful memories with loved ones, including those who are no longer here, like my father.

Music, to me, is what fills the emptiness of loneliness. I've had music around me all my life, my biological mother played the guitar, and my father a cuarto and all my family is connected in some way to music. Music accompanies me through every stage of my life: while working, cleaning, crying, feeling sad, and even in those quiet moments when I remind myself that everything will eventually be okay.

I believe this is also why writing, painting, creating, and studying mean so much to me. Even when what I create may not be appealing to the naked eye, to me, it is relaxing. It makes me feel connected. It allows me to express what sometimes I cannot put into words.

And perhaps, after everything, this is why protecting my peace means so much to me.

Movies have also been part of that companionship. The reruns I never get tired of, the funny movies that make me laugh when I need it most, and the familiar stories I return to on days when I want to feel something other than sadness.

There is something comforting about knowing that even when the house is quiet, I can press play and, for a little while, feel accompanied.

So, to music, to movies, to reruns, to all those funny scenes and unforgettable melodies that have kept me company on countless days...

To the writers, the editors, the musicians, the actors, and every creative soul behind the stories and songs that become part of someone else's life:

Thank you.

You may never know how many people sit alone in their homes, finding comfort in something you created. You may never know how many tears have been wiped away by a melody or how many difficult evenings have been made a little lighter by a movie.

But I know.

Because I am one of those people.

And sometimes, when words fail me,

and I do not know how to answer the simple question, "How are you doing?"...

I just let the music play.